Guest Blogger: Kim Jong-il

Hello fellow friends and readers of My Kafkaesque Life. It's the Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il. I am writing instead of MKL today. Thank you, MKL, for giving me the chance to be the 1st guest blogger on your respectful site.

I want to talk about current events around the world and my personal life in the past week. Let me say first, that I became sick and permanently constipated, because of the Great Satan's pig flu, that was spread around the world from his Mexican brother to destroy Korea. Our government strengthened safety measures and took all the needed precautions to make sure that the great Korean nation is safe. If pig flu becomes wide spread in our country, we will bomb Hawaii! Or just Japan. Death to the Great Satan!

Let me tell you how my week passed. It was really a week full of lovely events. I went to the Korean national sunglasses fair. I was the only one attending and I bought all the models. When I was home, I went online and read about Lady Gaga. She has revealed recently, that she used to tone down her crazy look when she was teased about it in high school. I was shocked! Because I thought she was a rebel like me. I never toned down my look. Only recently, when I lost a lot of weight and now I look a little skimpy. I miss that sack o'potatoes around my waist, it made me look like a Yakuza boss, the women loved it. But sadly, the debauched days of reckless sexual and culinaric greed are over. Lil Jongy does not work anymore. That's why I am writing memoirs and watching reruns of Golden Girls the most of my day. I am delighted though, that today I was able to scribble this little post. It was hard to sit still. Wait... I'm feeling something's moved. A muscle is suddenly feeling lose. I have to go.

Thank you, dear readers of MKL. I may write a regular column on this blog from now on.

Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il

[NOTE by MKL: I don't think so.]

[Photo: NK Ministry of foreign affairs]