Does fate really exist?

Recently I had a discussion with my friend who believes in fate. I said how can you know? Yea, well, everyone has it's own fate, karma, that determines the past, present and future, she said. And she believes in angels. That's odd to me. I mean, to not believe is also a belief. But as a sceptic, you can't accept just an idea, just a guess. So I asked her, why some babies die, innocent babies? Why so many people starve, struggle, why are they born poor and suffer their whole life? And it's constantly more of them. Where is god? Why is fate so unjust? She had no good answer. I thought, what if all these theories are without any substance and there's no fate but just coincidence?
Our weakness is that we don't know where we come from and where we're going! That's a fact. And all religions are created by people, who can't accept this fact, so through some delusions and charisma they create a religion and followers. I mean, if they're right, why is there so many religions, cults and beliefs? One truth should have one religion, unique to mankind. Yet reality is different. Actually religions are fighting for their 'holy' truth, waging wars and doing the most horrible things in the name of their idea. You won't find an atheist suicide bomber or pro-life terrorist or atheists rioting because of some cartoons. Anyway, what I want to say, so far, what my experience taught me, it all seems a huge coincidence or random interaction between people. You meet someone, you think it's the love of your life, you feel you are fated. Yet after a while differences start growing, many people keep the happy ideal image alive, but the relationship may not be as it seems. And how many cheat or have a lover and pretend they have a happy marriage? So many! I know, because I heard so many stories. And yea, human body is easy to get sick. That's our weak point. Accidents happen, because we're continuously on the move. We drive cars, we fly, we walk and we fall or we hit something. We break a leg, we catch a cold or we get a very bad desease - because that's what happens in nature. The gift of reason doesn't make us immune from these things. So what we call fate is actually a mixture of things that happen to us caused by others and the things that we do ourselves by making our own decisions. And in addition, there's some random natural things that happen to us - like being struck by lightning or having the house washed away by a landslide. That's something we can't influence, it just happens, because we're at the wrong place at the wrong time. That's coincidence, unfortunately a very bad one for us. We all live on Earth, not an ideal planet for fragile human bodies. We had no choice as mankind to chose our environment.
What we can do is make good choices, avoid bad situations and people who could harm us in any way (and of course, don't build a house on a steep slope). There's always a risk in life, but we must try our best. We can't escape problems, we must face them. Cuz all reason can't protect us from hardships, wise people learn from mistakes and make better choices in future. And keep in mind, many problems are actually ''problems'',that's why we have to make a difference and show a sound judgement on what is an actual problem and what is just a fictional problem.
And that's what I want to do in life. I want to enjoy it. I had some set-backs, some major disappointments in life since I was young and until now. It's for the first time I'm planlessly looking forward to the future, let things go the way they go, not trying to change them by force, not having too many expectations. Happy people are those who have low expectations, who are happy with small things in life. Striving for a big car, big house, a lot of money, that's of no real value to me. Material things make our life more convenient. Sure I'd accept money, but it wouldn't make me happy per se. For real happiness there's so much more needed. Love, friendship, trust. That's the things I'm striving for. And you?

[Photo, Penang, 2007]

I could never learn these lyrics...

I remember as if it were yesterday. We layed on bed and you tried to teach me these lyrics...

天天都需要你爱, 我的心思由你猜, i love you,
我就是要你让我每天都精彩.
天天把它挂嘴边, 到底什么是真爱, i love you,
到底有几分说得比想像更快.

I tried my best to learn, yet I failed miserably... Chinese combined with singing - that's a too tough combination for me to master...
Yesterday I found the notes and your handwriting of the lyrics. Made me think about last year, how things were, made me melancholic. I miss the closeness. Most of the time I distract myself with various things. But some days emotions gush out of me like water from some old broken pipe. I feel so pathetic. Seems I'm losing my senses. I need to forget these days and regain my strength. I need a boost, a success. I want the job I applied for, at least something to give me some confidence and strength. This week will be crucial. My hopes are set: let's anticipate and see what will happen. Keep your fingers crossed...

These days I'm so worn out

In the recent days my hay fever is really wearing me out. It's crazy how a weak body weakens the mind. I don't sleep well, it affects my whole mood. So no wonder, I'm not myself, I tend to fall into negativity. Also some things didn't come up to my expactations, another week passed and I ask myself why the situation is the way it is. Where's the light at the end of the tunnel? I'm all the time 'in the process', anticipating an end to all this, hoping to finally get some results. And this waiting is really hard sometimes. Beacuse it nags on my confidence. I really hope next week will bring some results and that my health improves. Spring time for me is really so unpredictable, it's really filled with ups and downs. It's a season I like the least. But I have to maintain the optimism, I need to crawl out of this gloomy days.

[Photo screencap from Naruto]

Funny comment on Hillary Clinton

So, Hillary Clinton won the Pennsylvania primary, but she has no chance of winning the nomination, the only thing she can do is to destroy Barack Obama's image. Good job, Hillary! Divide the party and the American people just for your own interest. So later John McCain will have half of the work done with your help. This whole blunder is better described by Roger Simon on Politico, I really enjoyed it. So can you. Have a look.

______________________________________________________________________

Don't stop believin', Hillary

By ROGER SIMON | 4/24/08 5:05 AM EST (www.politico.com)

Run, Hillary, run. Run in Guam, run in North Carolina, run in Indiana. Run in each and every one of the nine contests that are left. Then make some states do their contests over. Should Barack Obama’s victory in Vermont really count? I don’t think Vermont is actually a state. I think it is technically a socialist republic. Have somebody check this out. And Obama’s victory in Alaska? Are you kidding me? They let caribou vote in Alaska. And do some other stuff that levels the playing field: Raise the voting age to 65 in all the remaining contests, for instance. You do great with this group, Sen. Clinton. Younger people don’t really care about who becomes president anyway. All they want to do is go on this World Wide Interweb thing that they keep talking about. And while you are at it, Senator, cap all salaries at $50,000 a year, take away all college degrees and give everybody a gun. The demographics are clear: That is your base vote. Also, no men get to vote unless they have a note from a woman saying they are mentally competent. (Good luck with that!) And, Sen. Clinton, keep portraying yourself as a sympathetic underdog. That works much better than when you were the inevitable overlord. In Haverford, Pa., last Thursday, you told the crowd: “Just knock on the door and say, ‘You know, she’s really nice.’ Or you could say it another way: ‘She’s not as bad as you think.’” It is a theme that worked in Pennsylvania and will work elsewhere. I can see the billboards now: “Hillary Clinton. Not as Bad as You Think.” But do not give up the kitchen sink stuff, Senator. Make it a Good Hillary/Bad Hillary kind of campaign. Good Hillary talks about the dreamy, gooey, feel-good stuff, like when, in your victory speech from Philadelphia Tuesday night, you said: “We are, in many ways, all on this journey together to create an America that embraces every last one of us. ... I believe with all of my heart that together we will turn promises into action, words will become solutions, hope will become reality.” But Bad Hillary can’t go away. You have to have the Hillary who says Obama is “elitist” and “demeaning,” and you have to keep running ads that portray him as the guy who won’t be able to protect us from the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor, long lines at the gas pump, Osama bin Laden or ringing telephones. And speaking of Osama bin Laden, isn’t he a Muslim? And didn’t Bad Hillary say Obama was not a Muslim “as far as I know”? Keep up that subtle stuff. It is gold. And then, of course, bribe the superdelegates. These are the 794 party insiders who have one standard for all their decisions in life: “What’s in it for me?” So offer them something. You know how many interstate rest stops there are? They have to be named for somebody. And promise the holdouts that they will be appointed ambassador to Bermuda. It doesn’t matter that they all can’t be ambassador to Bermuda, because we don’t have an ambassador to Bermuda. (Say it was Bill’s idea.) And even if you can’t get ahead in the delegate count, don’t stop running! Go to the convention in Denver and chain yourself to the front door of the Pepsi Center and refuse to leave unless every resident of Florida and Michigan — not just the rogue delegates but all 26 million residents! — is seated inside and gets to cast a ballot for you. What’s the worst that could happen? Howard Dean comes out and bites you on the ankle? Forget about it. I could carve a tougher guy out of tofu. But most of all, Sen. Clinton, never give up, never surrender. And remember: There’s always 2012.

Chinese can be like geometry

口吕品回田非日目中山

一二三十工个干土上士

Beautiful spring 2008

Today I snapped these two beautiful photos of our cherry and other blooming bushes and flowers. It's really very nice as you can see. I think our spring can compare with the one in Japan. Our sakura is white, but still very bautiful. Do you want to immerse yourself in our garden? Go ahead, you are free to daydream. But it will be hard to find us, since we're somewhere surrounded by forest and hidden from the outside world - like a perfect getaway to rest your soul and forget the stressful fast-paced life of places like Singapore, Taizhong, Batu Pahat, Mino or any other urban area. (There's some inside jokes hidden for you, hehe.)

[Photos by MKL, 2008]

Chinese Proverb II

有缘千里来相会,无缘对面不相逢
-
If we are fated we will come from thousands of miles to meet,
if we are not fated we will not know each other face to face.

Chinese Proverb I

一朝被蛇咬,十年怕草繩
-
Once bitten by a snake, one is scared
all his life at the mere sight of a rope.

It's been 5 months...

Tomorrow marks an unhappy anniversary.. 5 months since Vienna.. Crazy, how time flies... I feel gloomy all day... Memories crawl inside me from some back of my mind straight to the core... I don't wanna think about past.. but I guess I can't run away... These days I'm listening to Katie Melua's sad songs. The song What I miss about you keeps playing in my head... Especially the first few lines make me remember how it used to be... Missing the train every morning at 8:52, sipping coffee from the same cup as you. The sharing of secrets we thought no one else knew, that's what I miss about you. (Melua)
When you think back in your life, you see all the mistakes you've made and you ask yourself, how could you've been such a jerk at that time. Later we are all wiser. When you're young, you wish you had the wisdom of an old man, when you're old, you wish you had the carelessness and youthfulness of a young person. Maybe now in my late twenties I am somewhere inbetween.
Time is really merciless... And it doesn't happen often that we get a second chance. The second time it's usually very different as it used to be. You try to see the person he/she used to be, but deep down you are scared of how he/she has changed, moved on. I think in core we are same people thru time, but we change our perceptions. We set higher standards. Maybe we are more demanding. I'm currently totally lost about my own perceptions and wishes. Especially in this days and weeks... My birthday made me think a lot... I realized I'm not the person who used to look forward to be 20, 24, 25.. 26 was still ok.. now at 28.. ahh.. I think I share this with many twens, once the decade slowly starts ending, you start focus on the 3. And you start pondering about what you've achieved in your personal life and career... And if your list is as empty as mine.. I'm sure you wouldn't be happy either... I wished I had at least 1 thing in order.. my relationship or my career.. Why do I have to have both so undetermined? So open, so uncertain? It's usually like this. When you feel so down and nothing seems to be right. Then you really fail in every aspect. But when things start to go better, then everything goes smoothly. It's ridiculous!
And now I can only hope that I start getting a better hand in order to win this poker we call life. I will still hold the Vienna memories in my heart, I will still listen to Katie Melua, but I hope with a smirk on my face, not bitterness.

[Photo by MKL, 2007]

Battle Royale: Obama vs. Clinton

[Photo: Source]

As some of you have noticed, I'm very interested in the upcoming US elections and especially the primaries. And lately I thought about what's more significant: USA having the first (white) female president or first afro-american president (actually he's half white, but that's another topic to discuss). However, I think America would write history if Barack Obama became the next president. I thought there was many female presidents before, the most famous were british Margaret Thatcher, israeli Golda Meir and current german chancellor Angela Merkel. But when did we have someone from a minority elected president in the West? For example an Arab french president? A Turk german chancellor? A black or latino US president? Well, it's not as easy to pop out a name like Thatcher, Meir or Merkel on the female side. I think racism and sexism in the West is still a tough issue, but my personal opinion is, that racism is a bigger problem. If anyone disagree, feel free to debate.
The second thing that's bothering me is the way Hillary Clinton runs her campain. She used to underestimate Obama, when he overtook her, she started backstabbing him, mocking his message, attacking his leadership credibility, lying about her Bosnia trip and being a second 'republican', helping McCain to attack Obama twice. This could backfire, because she's ripping apart the democratic party and it's really a shame, as Obama said. So, hopefully, Obama will survive these double-attacks and become the next president of USA.

Obama 08!

Sakura

These days when the cherry trees blossom, I really wish I was in Japan and see the famous sakura with my own eyes. It's so beautiful when I see the photos my friend sent to me. I really love japanese gardens and alleys of cherry trees. It must be a magical feeling to see these beautiful cherry blossoms. I do have a plan to go to Japan, but when can i make it? I will try hard to fulfil this wish this year, but everybody says Japan is expensive. Which is unfortunately true. And if I go later this year, there won't be sakura, but that doesn't bother me so much. I just hope I can soak in the culture and snap many many photos. Japan is so far from Europe, who knows how many chances will I have to see it in this life. Once would be just fine to me.

[Photo given by my Japanese friend Rie]

I'm learning Chinese

Well, I'm learning chinese for quite a while now, maybe not with full speed and a lot of effort, but I do learn sometimes when I have nothing to do. Before I had more will power to learn, since I had a perfect teacher, who could also train the pronounciation with me. Now I'm more on my own, so I try to memorize the characters and learn the grammar. I realized, you can't pronounce properly unless a Chinese person is practising with you. You learn the rules of the tones, yet when you try on your own, it all sounds too weird. And now I know quite many characters, but too little to survive in an chinese environment. Sometimes I know some characters in a sentence, but still not enough to understand. But I do get happy like a small child, when I can read some chinese. Actually, my knowledge is like the one of a 3 years old chinese kid, hehe. Anyway, I hope I can advance. Teacher! Come back liao! Hehe.. Here's a little example of my Chinese (just introduction):你好 ! 我叫尼诺.我是从斯洛維尼亞来的. 我汉语说的不好. Did you understand?

[Photo: Source]

One year ago I was in Penang

These days I remember my last year's Penang trip. Browsing thru the nice pictures brings back memories. It was a great time. I just graduated and after a long winter of studying, I said to myself, you need to indulge. And I chosen one of my favourite passions: traveling. I followed my feelings and tried not to think too much. Well, that's quite hard, if you are me. I had a lot emotional baggage with me. But aside of all that, I had fun. I saw how life is in Malaysia and I really liked it. It has it's pros and cons, but the pros prevail. The photo shows Batu Ferringhi (Westerner's stone), a famous stretch of beaches on the northern part of Penang Island. I'm happy that I captured this marvellous sunset, it's certainly one of my all time favourites. When I see it, it makes me daydream about a place far far away, where I could enjoy moments like this and just be happy. It's a perfect getaway. Don't you agree?

[Photo by MKL, 2007]

Republicans, Democrats and Clintons

I think Bill and Hillary Clinton are destroying the democratic party. I mean, come on, who believes her commander and chief blabber? I don't think Obama is the Messiah, but he's the least phoney of all 3 candidates. It would be better for America and for the whole world, if he became the president. Not only he knows how to unite Americans, he will be able to unite the rest of the world due to his background and looks and of course his character.
America should be ashamed, in 8 years of the Bush administration, they managed to tarnish it's name even in the West. Antiamericanism is everywhere in Europe. And with Obama and his message of hope we feel this resentment will slowly disappear and the ties between USA and Europe will be strong again. We think that the unilateral actions of the USA is really damaging the world peace. Well, USA has 2 oceans on every side of their country, while we have Africa and the Middle East at our door step. We can't just start wars to solve a problem in our neighbourhood. We learned this lesson. So I hope after Irak (and Vietnam) the USA should have learned this lesson, too.
I just hope that the Clintons start backing off and endorse the democratic nominee Obama to bring about a change to the US politics and foreign relations. The world is sick of Bushes and Clintons, please, USA is not a monarchy...

Or... is it?