Emptiness

Empty. Lost in memories of the past. Anxious to look ahead. Trapped in the present. What should I do? I decide to stand up, open the front door and leave. It's dark. Forest all around me. I keep walking. The road is empty. And long. The more I walk, the better I get. The road is now my meaning of life. My goal is to keep going aimlessly. I don't want to reach anywhere. I don't want to go back or even look back. I can make a stop. In that moment the world stops for me. I realize we're all on the same track. I just hate myself for being able to understand this useless life. Some sleep, eat, work, eat, sleep and repeat that every day. But they're happy! I try to find sense in everything I'm doing, seeing, feeling. It's tiring. It's wearing me out. And you are far! I'm alone and lonely. The more you distant yourself from me, the more real I get. I'm realizing that everything we built up is just a cover for nothing. Our curtains are veiling a wall, not a window. And in the end, I'll end up alone again. As I always were. Memories are sweet, but they will get bittersweet later. I'll be still walking down the same road as always. Only this time I really won't turn back. I may appear sober, but I'm highly emotional. Crushed. But I have to keep walking. I'm walking. I can't stop, I have no control.

And then he stopped.