I need a break

I had to take some time out to think about everything: my recent actions, behavior and state of mind. I'm so worn out. I'm not myself anymore these days. I mean, what was I doing? I was annoying people with my tweets... I'm glad they told me, because I probably wouldn't stop. Lately I'm totally not the person I used to be. When I realized that yesterday, I broke down and it all came out of me. My life's a mess! These days can't sleep all nights because of my allergy. I keep waking up 4am and sneezing like crazy. During the day I'm confined to the four walls inside, because it's constantly raining... If it's not, then my allergy is severe again. It's really a bad period of time for me. But it's not only that. So many things happened in this short year. I left Malaysia, left my girlfriend and a whole family behind and eventually she broke up with me. My grandpa died 4 months ago and here's everything different. Hell, even a cat died, which we had for 11 years and our 40 years old willow infront of our house fell because of the heavy snow this winter. Everything's so different in a very short amount time, my whole life's flipped upside down. And how did I face these changes? With denial and with surpressing my feelings. Especially during the break up 3 weeks ago I was behaving like nothing happened. Maybe I couldn't comprehend what just happened in that moment. But I did yesterday. I realized how I love and miss her, how I wish things were different. But at the same I know I can't do anything. It's frustrating! What I've been doing this whole time is running away from my problems. I wrote tons of posts, comments and tweets, I've created another online world for myself where I could escape from my offline problems. I need to stop with that. I need to make the online world exception and the real world the norm and not the other way around. I will try to write fewer posts, comments and tweets. I will try to do more things offline. The obsessive twitterer is not the real me. That's not who I am. And especially I'm not someone who would annoy people. That's why I sincerely apologize to those who were annoyed by my tweets. I'm truly sorry. I don't know why I was so obsessed with having more hits on my blog. It's just had to peak in this nonsense and make me realize how much I've changed. I'm so glad that people told me and I'm glad I realized I had to stop after two days... What if I continued with that even longer? I would have lost my face! Well, now it's 1st of June and I have the chance for a new fresh start. I also hope my allergy will ease up and that I'll do more things outside, finish renovating, going out more and meet some people and hopefully find a job. I do wanna stress that I'm very happy that I made many new friendships through blogging and tweeting and that I hope these friendships will last and evolve. I value them highly and you all have nothing to do with this, my friends. I'll still tweet you up or comment on your blog. Maybe less excessively, but you'll know I'm for real and that I'm doing fine. I also have a lot of ideas to blog about. But a post a day should be fine, maybe sometimes more, maybe sometimes less. I won't pressure myself. I just have to find some temperance, some middle ground. Now that I spoke my mind, I feel so much better. I hope things go the way I set them now and I hope that these events that have changed my life so drastically, will be dealt with and worked out. I need to become the old Nino again, the one who was happy by default and not by trying hard to appear that way. I need a break.

Thank you.