Thursday, August 5, 2010

How to seduce a Japanese woman

by now most people in this world know that i am an expert of seduction of far eastern women. i have spent a big portion of my life studying women from the most eastern part of the biggest continent and my impenetrable seductive powers are admired and feared in the occident as well as in the orient.
i traveled, i observed, i listened. there were innumerable moments in my life, where a lovely lady gave in to her tidal wave of emotions and longed and begged for a single touch of my lips with hers. oh, how many ladies fell into my arms willingly and completely entrusted themselves to me.
too many, my friends. too many.
now that i am famous and few ten thousand followers can't wait to learn the wisdom i acquired through my several years long pilgrimages to asia, i am willing to unlock and dust off my inner marco polo and share a story about how i seduced a lovely japanese office lady from kyoto a few years ago. her name was saki. saki seto. her blossoming youth and the charming ways were electrifying and i couldn't help but to surrender to her appeal that was beyond tantalizing.
i used to go to that office building near kyoto tower from time to time only to see, if there were women that had that certain expression, the one that says i'm yearning for something more than the daily routine. i want to be fulfilled. i took photos of the building from the outside. it was a terrible structure and i wasn't surprised to see quite few women with that look inside. but then i saw saki.
she was different than other women, because she really longed for change in her life. her eyes told me that every single moment they met with mine. i admit, i was drawn to her, so when i had some free time (and as a photographer i had plenty of it), i was most often found around that building, where she entered and exited every day at about the same time. she worked overtime of course, because that's very common in japan. i was a ghost. she couldn't see me, nor my big camera, because i knew how to hide when i had to. i couldn't reveal my weakness for her or my utmost powerlessness in her presence or my nervousness even if she was a hundred meters away. i wanted to be invisible to her, because i needed to study her. i pasted her photos on the wall of my apartment, i wrote a list of all the things she does, like smiling, when she sees a butterfly passing by her office window or how she holds chopsticks in her left hand so skillfully. it took me seven days to figure out how i could conquer her heart. i will never forget that reality altering moment, where i realized that i just deciphered the ultimate way to steal the heart of every japanese woman. of course she wasn't every japanese woman, she was saki. saki seto.
saki in her office. i had the privilege to see how dazzling she looked at work.

she was beyond japanese, beyond woman, she was pure magic in the shape of a japanese woman. it felt as if god carved perfection and embodied it in her. even though i unraveled one of the mysteries every man in this world would not only envy me, but torture me in order to extract the secrets from me, i wasn't completely sure, that saki would fall for the ultimate move i have set up for her.
i knew i had to focus real hard. the next day i first headed to the east temple, where i tried to dispel the torment of my heart by restoring my inner balance with meditation. it worked. in the afternoon i found myself near that office building again. soon after arriving i saw her sitting in her office on the second floor. she diligently took care of paper work while charmingly explaining serious matters to her office mate. then she stood up and left for the main lobby. that was the moment when i thought it's now or never. i was ready. i walked quickly just to pause in front of the main door of the building. i saw her, she was standing near the elevator, checking some papers. snap! i took a photo of her. snap! i took another one. i started to approach her, when she finally glanced over, still not expecting that i'm about to ask the most important question of her life.

let's freeze the moment here for a bit. you must be wondering, what did i do, what did he say? i'm dying of curiosity. and don't worry, i will reveal the biggest mystery of all times very soon to you, but i must say something very important first: forget about all the websites claiming to be experts on how to seduce a japanese woman, i've read them all. forget about all the cultural differences they try to instill into your head, it's a sham!
they only want page impressions, that's why they lie to you. everyone knows that love is stronger than any cultural barrier. you just need to follow my way and you'll be fine, trust me. but now back to the situation.

so what did i do, what did i say? well, she was about to fix her shoes, when she saw me taking another photo of her. she looked up to my lens and smiled gently with her eyes asking what is it you want, lovely stranger? that was the moment where i finally had the opportunity to make the move of my life. i took a deep breath and then i asked what i had been planning meticulously to ask: would you like to share a bowl of ramen with me? the moment froze for few seconds. i could hear my sweat pouring down my back. i feared my broken japanese wasn't understandable to her, when she lifted her left eye brow in awe. but a second later she gently replied in her perfect japanese: yes, of course, i'd love to. i was released, her warm words jump started my heart in that very moment. it was electrifying.
in that evening we met near kyoto tower and she brought me to her favorite ramen shop. we shared ramen, we smiled, we joked. she held my hand, fed me, giggled. we had some intense 3 months before i had to fly to taiwan, where i became the celebrity i am today. all that happened, because saki inspired me to master the art of seduction. and i realized that food transcends everything, even the harshest realities and the steepest slopes of insecurity. now you know how to seduce a japanese woman or any woman for that matter: it starts by simply talking to them!

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